Crossing Their Universes
by StuckInTheTARDIS
Summary: When Harry defeated Voldemort, he expected all of his adventures to stop. Never did he suspect that his doppelganger would fall out of the sky and he with a few of his friends would end up watching his thoughts. Set a year after DH. Harry & co watch AVPM
1. Chapter 1

**This is the first chapter, I hope you like it :)**

**I don't own _Harry Potter_ or _AVPM_. They belong to JKRowling and Team Starkid respectively. Also, hopefully I got them all in character. It's hard to go from AVPM!characters to normal characters.**

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><p>"Woaaahhhh," A curly-haired, bespectacled boy yelled as he suddenly flew out of the sky into an office. A woman with mostly grey hair and sharp eyes looked up quickly and pulled out her wand.<p>

"Who are you?" she demanded.

"Harry Potter," replied the boy as he got to his feet.

Shocked, the woman's wand dropped a little before she caught herself. "That's not possible. You look nothing like Mr Potter."

The boy paid no attention as he looked around the office. "Hey, you don't have a picture of Headmaster Zefron up! You know, I'm his biggest fan."

"Zefron? Who is this?"

"You don't know who _Zefron_ is? He is only the most awesomnest, the most brilliant, most supermegafoxyawesomehot person in the entire world. And I'm his biggest fan," the boy's face which had been shocked suddenly transformed into a proud and smug face. "Anyways, who are you?"

"Professor McGonagall, headmistress of Hogwarts," Professor McGonagall replied, still looking weary of the boy.

"Never heard of you," he said before the portrait of Albus Dumbledore spoke.

"My dear McGonagall, don't worry so much. I have brought young _Mr Potter_ here. No reason why, I just thought Harry and _Mr Potter_ would like to meet each other. _Mr Potter_ is from an alternative universe, but his world is very similar to Harry's."

Professor McGonagall looked shocked as she looked up. "Professor Dumbledore? Do you think this is wise?"

"Of course. Nothing bad could happen," he replied.

"Uh hello? Did you guys forget I was here?"

"No my dear boy, of course not. What do you think of meeting a different version of you, and all his friends?" Dumbledore said to _Harry_.

"Woahhh cool. No problem," _Harry _smiled.

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><p>Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger were sitting in the lounge room of Harry and Ginny's house. They had just come back from the hospital after seeing Victoire, Bill and Fleur's new baby girl. It was a year after Harry had defeated Voldemort and he had finally started living truly happily.<p>

Suddenly they heard a crack outside and then a knock on the door.

Ginny went to answer the door and the others heard her say "Professor McGonagall! How nice to see you, come in."

"There's no need to call me professor anymore Ginny," Professor McGonagall said as she walked into the lounge room. "Ah, Ron, Hermione, you're here too. Good."

"Nice to see you Pro- Minerva," Hermione said smiling.

"You too Hermione. Harry- where is Teddy today?"

"At his grandma's. We went to see Victoire," Harry replied.

"Good. Now I'm sure you are wondering why I'm here. It seems that Professor Dumbledore has somehow brought an alternative universe version of yourself to my office. I'm not sure how, and he only said that he did it because he thought that you would 'like to meet each other'."

"Oh Prof- Minerva, do you think that's wise?" Hermione asked.

"Professor Dumbledore said it was fine," Minerva replied. "How do you feel about meeting in my office tomorrow morning? You can just floo in. Now I have to go talk to a few others. "

"That sounds fine. Goodbye Minerva." Harry said as she left.

"Woah this seems pretty weird," Ron said.

"I know mate. This is just about the weirdest thing I've ever heard," Harry agreed.

"Even weirder than the time-turner incident?" Hermione asked.

"Much."

Hermione and Ron said goodnight to the others and disapparated. Harry, feeling _very_ weird, hugged Ginny and they went to bed.

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><p>Harry flooed into Professor McGonagall's office to face Draco Malfoy, Professor McGonagall and an unknown man. The man was rather short, even shorter than Harry, had a lightning bolt scar and incredibly curly black hair.<p>

Harry and Draco exchanged nods but before they could talk Ginny flooed in quickly followed by Ron and Hermione.

"Wow Hermione! His hair is even curlier than yours!" Ron said immediately.

"Careful, or you'll be sleeping on the couch," Hermione said back quickly.

"Hello Professor Dumbledore," Ginny said quickly to diffuse the tension.

"Hello Ginevra, how are you?" he asked her.

"I'm good sir."

"That's good. Well Professor McGonagall, why don't you tell them my idea?"

Professor McGonagall agreed and began speaking. "Professor Dumbledore has had the idea of the two Harry Potters meeting. We have decided to look through the crucial parts of _this_ Harry's life with a pensieve. If you wouldn't mind _Mr Potter_ would you please put you thoughts into the pensieve and we will continue. Are there any questions?"

"Yes actually," Draco Malfoy put in, "I know that I am incredibly important, but why am I here?" Despite the comment, Draco Malfoy was close to becoming friends with Harry.

"Ah I can help with this one," Dumbledore said. "You see, I thought you might like to watch. That's all really."

"Now that that's cleared up, I have some bad news. I am unable to go and Professor Dumbledore also said to me earlier that it would be impossible for the alternative universe _Harry_-" here she pointed to the curly haired man "-to go either. I'm sorry for this, but _Mr Potter_ if you would like you can accompany me."

_Harry _agreed and they left the room.

After the door closed Harry walked over the pensieve, said "let's go", and put his face down in the liquid, straight away being sucked in. The others followed, choosing to only put their hands in instead of faces.

The office was now empty, and Albus Dumbledore's portrait definitely looked happy.

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><p>The five men and women landed in room. It was nearly completely dark, just one spotlight shining on the boy in the middle. It was <em>Harry.<em> He was sitting on a suitcase and there was a piano playing. He looked up and brushed the hair off of his face.

He crossed his arms, looked around and then suddenly he started singing.

**HARRY: Underneath these stairs I hear the snares and feel the glares of my cousin, my uncle and my aunt.**

Shocked, the five individuals couldn't say anything.

**HARRY: Can't believe how cruel they are, and it stings my lightning scar to know they'll never ever give me what I want.**

"Oh stop being dramatic Potter," Draco said. They might be getting along, but they _didn't_ like each other that much. Yet.

**HARRY: I know I don't deserve these stupid rules made by the Dursleys here on Privet Drive. Can't take these stupid muggles, but despite all of my struggles, I'm still alive.**

"That certainly is true," Hermione put in.

"It is," Ginny agreed. "More importantly, can you _really_ sing like this?" she said amazed.

"Trust me Gin; you do _not_ want to hear Harry singing in the shower, he's _horrible_!" Ron put in.

**HARRY: I'm sick of summer and this waiting around.**

"Well that's certainly how I was at the end of fourth year," Harry put in.

**HARRY: Man its September and I'm skipping this town. Hey it's no mystery, there's nothing here for me now.**

He suddenly stood up and started singing with more passion.

**HARRY: I gotta get back to Hogwarts, I gotta get back to school, I gotta get myself to Hogwarts where everybody knows I'm cool**

"Wow, stuck up much Potter?"

"Hey, I am NOT like this in real life, okay."

**HARRY: Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts, to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts.**

The Harry singing grabbed his belly and looked a bit like Ron when he was hungry, so really, he looked like Ron all the time.

**HARRY: It's all that I love and it's all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts; I think I'm going back.**

_Harry _grabbed his suitcase and moved it around a bit before sitting back down on it.

**HARRY: I'll see my friends gonna laugh til we cry, take my Firebolt, gonna take to the sky. No way this year anyone's gonna die**

"Really Harry, you had to tempt fate?" Hermione asked.

**HARRY: and it's gonna be Totally Awesome! I'll cast some spells with the flick of my wand**

Here _Harry_ took out a long piece of wood and began twirling it.

**HARRY: Defeat the dark arts, yeah bring it on. And do it all with my best friend Ron, cause together we're Totally Awesome.**

"You really like saying 'Totally Awesome' don't you Harry?" Ginny asked him.

"Hey, don't blame me! It's a different universes Harry. We're clearly _very_ different," Harry defended himself.

Suddenly a red-haired came in through a door.

**RON: Yeah and it's gonna be Totally Awesome.**

"Oh not you too!" Hermione exclaimed.

**RON: Did someone say Ron Weasley? Woo!**

"No, you just heard your name so of course no one said it," Draco said sarcastically.

_Harry _and _Ron _hugged on screen and greeted each other.

**HARRY: What's up buddy?**

**RON: Hey! Sorry it took me so long to get here I had to go get some… floo powder. But ahh… we gotta get going, come on get your trunk, let's go.**

**HARRY: Where're we going?**

**RON: To Diagon Alley of course.**

**HARRY: Cool!**

**RON: Come on!**

**BOTH: FLOO POWDER POWER! FLOO POWDER POWER! FLOO POWDER POWER! FLOO POWDER POWER!**

"That's not how you use the Floo network," Draco said disgustingly. How could this even be real?

**RON: It's been so long but we're going back. Don't go for work, don't go there for class.**

"Ron. You should be more responsible," Hermione of course said this.

"This isn't me though!" Ron protested.

"Oh you know you're like this in real life."

**HARRY: As long as we're together**

**RON: Gonna kick some ass**

**BOTH: And it's gonna be Totally Awesome!**

"Now you have a _sign_ for it?" Ginny said as they made a really weird hand gesture.

**BOTH: This year we'll take everybody by storm. Stay up all night, sneak out of our dorms.**

Hermione gave Harry and Ron disapproving looks as a girl with very large hair came up behind them.

**HERMIONE: But let's not forget that we need to perform well in class if we want to pass our OWLs.**

**RON: God Hermione, why do you have to be such a buzz kill?**

**HERMIONE: Because, **_**guys**_**, school's not all about having fun. We need to study hard if we want to be good witches and wizards.**

Hermione nodded in agreement, while Harry, Ron and Ginny looked at each other shocked.

**HERMIONE: I may be frumpy but I'm super smart. Check out my grades, they're A's for a start. What I lack in looks well I make up in heart and well guys that's Totally Awesome. **

"Oh no, not you too Hermione!" Ginny said.

**HERMIONE: This year I plan, to study a lot.**

"Wow, that's a surprise," Ron said under his breath to Harry.

**RON: That would be cool if you were actually hot.**

"Ron! How could you?" Hermione said, hurt.

Ginny glared at Ron and chucked ball of paper at him.

"Hey, Hermione, I'm sorry. It's not me. I don't really think that," Ron tried to make it up to her. Draco just stood smirking.

**HARRY: Hey Ron, c'mon, we're the only friends that she's got.**

"That is _not_ true!" Ginny said adamantly. "She's got me and Neville, and Luna, and many more"

**HARRY: And that's cool.**

**HERMIONE: And that's Totally Awesome. **

"How am I _okay_ with this? And why am I saying 'Totally Awesome'!" Hermione said frustrated.

**ALL: Yeah it's so cool, and it's Totally Awesome! We're sick of summer and this waiting around. It's like we're sitting in the lost and found. Don't take no sorcery for anyone to see how. Gotta get back to Hogwarts! Gotta get back to school! Gotta get back to Hogwarts, where everything is magic-cooooool! **

"Wow. Couldn't you three think of something else other than 'cool' to rhyme with school?" Draco Malfoy drawled.

"Well you do better then," Harry challenged.

"Okay then. Tool, pool, wool, fool, bull, uhh… rule"

"…damn."

**Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts, to goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts, it's all that I love and it's all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts, I think we're going back.**

**GINNY: RON! You were supposed to take me to Madam Makin's and use those sickles mum gave you for my robe fitting.**

"Okay, that is NOTHING like me. Don't you laugh Ronald Weasley!" Ginny gave Ron the practiced Weasley glare.

**HARRY: Uhh... who's this?**

**RON: Ah this is stupid little dumb sister Ginny. **

"RON! You asked for it!" Ginny said as she reached for her wand.

"Woah, woah, woah. It's not me! I swear, I would never say that about you."

"You better not!"

**RON: She's a freshman**

"What's a freshman?" Draco asked.

"It's a level of schooling in America," Hermione answered. "I'm not sure which level though, because I'm not used to American schools."

**RON: Ginny this is Harry. Harry Potter, its Harry Potter.**

**GINNY: Oh… You're Harry Potter. You're the boy who lived!**

"Dammit I hate when people call me that," Harry complained.

**HARRY: Yeah, and you're Ginny.**

**GINNY: Oh, it's Ginevra. **

"WHAT! I hate that name! Why would I ever say that?" Ginny said horrified.

**HARRY: Cool. Ginny's fine.**

**RON: Stupid sister! **

"What the heck is that Ron? And you added on that stupid gesture at the end," Hermione said.

**GINNY: Oww.**

**RON: Don't crowd the famous friend. **

**HERMIONE: Hey, do you guys hear music or something?**

**HARRY: Music? What are you talking about?**

**RON: Yeah someone's coming. **

**THREE GIRLS: Cho Chang, Domo arigato, Cho Chang. Gung hoy fat chow Chang happy, happy new year Cho Chang.**

"Oh wow. That is _definitely_ not dancing I've ever seen before. Woah," Draco put in.

**GINNY: Woah. Who's that?**

**HARRY: Oh… that's Cho Chang.**

**RON: That's the girl Harry's been like totally in love with since freshman year.**

**HERMION: Yeah but he won't say anything.**

**RON: Well yeah, you never tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot.**

"Seriously, Weasley? Who taught you that? No wonder it took you ages to get with Granger."

**GINNY: Um… Konichiwa Cho Chang. It is good to meet you. I am Ginny Weasley.**

**LAVENDER: Bitch, I ain't Cho Chang!**

"Wait… what? Last time I checked Cho Chang was definitely Asian," Hermione put in.

**RON: That's Lavender Brown. Racist Sister!**

"Lavender Brown?" Everyone shouted.

**CHO: It's all right. I'm Cho Chang y'all.**

"Wow. So in the alternative universe Lavender Brown is Asian, and Cho Chang sounds like she's from Texas, America. Good to know," Harry put in.

**HARRY: She is totally perfect.**

**RON: Yeah too bad she's dating Cedric Diggory, though huh.**

They all had a silent moment in memory.

**HARRY: What? Who the hell is Cedric Diggory? What is that? Who is that guy?**

**CEDRIC: Cho Chang. I am so in love with Cho Chang. From Bang Koc to Ding Dang. I'll sing my love aloud to Cho Channnnnng!**

"Wow! He's a good singer as well," Ginny said.

**HARRY: I hate that guy. I hate him.**

"What? No I don't!"

**RON: So are we going to get those robes or not?**

**GINNY: Okay alright, I'm going.**

**RON: Gosh, sister!**

**GOYLE: Present your arm, nerd!**

They all burst out laughing.

"Oh my god! That voice!" Ron said.

"Who is that? Only a slytherin would be like that. And I know Crabbe and Goyle are almost too dumb to speak so it couldn't be them," Draco Malfoy said.

**NEVILLE: Wh-wha-what?**

**GOYLE: Indian Burn Hex!**

"That's not a spell!"

**NEVILLE: Ahhh**

**RON: Aww… Crabbe and Goyle.**

"Wait… what? That's Crabbe and Goyle? No way," Draco said in surprise.

**HARRY: Hey.**

**GINNY: Are you okay?**

**HARRY: Why don't you lea-leave Neville Longbottom alone, huh?**

**GOYLE: Well, well, well. If it isn't Harry Potter. You think all because you're famous you can boss everyone around!**

"That's absolutely craziness. I never boss people around."

**HARRY: No I just don't think it's cool for guys of your size to pick on guys like Neville. Come on.**

**GOYLE: Well you know what I think? I think glasses are for nerds. BREAK!**

"They… they broke my glasses. Okay then…"

**HARRY: Ohh.. oh.**

**GOYLE: We hate nerds.**

**CRABBE: And girls.**

"That… would explain a lot. Especially when we were all on the Quidditch team together… oh god," Draco said.

**HARRY: Oh. Oh my glasses.**

**RON: Well you asked for it. You don't mess with Harry Potter, he beat the dark lord when he was a baby.**

"Thanks Ron," Harry said smiling.

"No problem buddy."

**HERMIONE: All right, everyone just calm down. Occulous Reparo.**

**HARRY: Woah cool!**

**HERMIONE: Now let's leave these big baby childish jerks alone.**

**HARRY: Yeah, yeah… let's get out of here.**

**DRACO: Did someone say Draco Malfoy?**

"What? Is… that supposed to be me? No way! That hair is horrendous! It looks fake. Did I lose my hair somehow and replace it with a _really_ bad wig? I can't believe it!"

**RON: What do you want Draco?**

**DRACO: Crabbe. Goyle. Be a pair of turtledoves and go pay for my robe fittings.**

"Wait, wait, wait. Did I just say 'be a pair of turtledoves'? What am I on about?"

**DRACO: So Potter, back for another year at Hogwarts, are you? Maybe this year you'll wise up and hang out with a higher calibre of wizards.**

**HARRY: Hey listen Malfoy. Ron and Hermione are my best friends in the whole world. I wouldn't trade them for anything.**

"Really, Ron? Did you have to push me out of the hug?"

**DRACO: Have it your way. Wait! Don't tell me. Red hair, hand me down clothes and a stupid complexion. You must be a Weasley.**

"HEY! Weasleys do NOT have stupid complexions. And if we did, then you could hardly talk could you, Pasty Malfoy?" said Ron.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah you heard me!"

**RON: Oh my god, lay off Malfoy. She may be a pain in the arse okay, but she's my pain in the arse.**

"Wow, Ron, that's really nice of you… I think?"

**MALFOY: Well isn't this cute! It's like a little loser family! Hogwarts has really gone to the dogs.**

"Hey, it has not!" Harry yelled.

**MALFOY: Luckily next year… I'll be transferred to Pigfarts!**

Harry, Ron and Ginny burst out laughing, Hermione gave a small smile and Draco looked furious with his other self.

**MALFOY: This year you bet, gonna get out of here. The reign of Malfoy is coming near.**

"Hah! You wish Malfoy!" Ron put in.

**MALFOY: I'll have the greatest wizard career**

"Yeah… no."

**MALFOY: And it's gonna be Totally Awesome!**

"Now you're doing it Malfoy? Am I the only one who won't?" Ginny asked.

**MALFOY: Look out for the dawn of the day, where everyone will do whatever I say! And Potter won't be in my way, then I'll be the one that is Totally Awesome!**

**GOYLE: Yeah you'll be the one that is Totally Awesome!**

After everyone stopped laughing Ginny was able to say, "I guess I am the only one not to say it. Even Goyle is saying it..."

**TRAIN: WHOO OOO!**

**HERMIONE: Guys come on! We're gonna miss the train. **

**EVERYONE: Who knows how fast this year's gonna go. Hand me a glass; let the Butterbeer flow.**

**HARRY: Maybe at last, I'll talk to Cho!**

**RON: Oh no, that'd be way too awesome!**

"Really, Ron? Thanks for your support," Harry said.

**EVERYONE: We're back to learn everything that we can, it's great to come back to where we began, and here we are! And Alakazam, here we go this is Totally Awesome!**

"Really. Literally _everyone_ is going to say it? Fine. This musical version of our lives so far looks to be Totally Awesome," Ginny said.

**EVERYONE: Come on and teach us everything you know, the summer's over and we're itching to go.**

**NEVILLE: I think we're ready for, Albus Dumbledore!**

**EVERYONE: Aaahhhhhhhhh.**

**DUMBLEDORE: Welcooooooooooooooooooooooome all of you to Hogwarts! **

"Oh wow! It that how their Dumbledore acts? Actually it's not far of ours," Harry said.

**DUMBLEDORE: I welcome you to school! Did you know that here at Hogwarts, we've got a hidden swimming pool.**

"Woah do we really?" Ron asked.

"Well, I guess if you count the prefects bathrooms…" Hermione said.

**DUMBLEDORE: Welcome, welcome, welcome Hogwarts. Welcome hotties, nerds and tooooools! Now that I've got you here at Hogwarts, I'd like to go over just a couple of rules.**

"Well Dumbledore used just about all the rhyming words that you did Malfoy," Ron said.

**DUMBLEDORE: My name is Albus Dumbledore and I am headmaster at Hogwarts. You can all call me… Dumbledore. Suppose you could also call me Albus if you want a detention. I'm just kidding, I'll expel you if you call me Albus.**

"Okay, maybe he's a bit weirder than ours…"

**EVERYONE: Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts. To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts. It's all that I want and it's all that I need at Hogwarts, Hogwarts. Back to spells and enchantments, potions and friends.**

**GRYFFINDORS: To Gryffindors!**

Ron and Harry let out hoots.

**HUFFLEPUFFS: Hufflepuffs!**

**RAVENCLAWS: Ravenclaws!**

**SLYTHERINS: Slytherins!**

"Oh god, Goyle's voice is HILARIOUS," Ginny said.

**ALL: Back to the place where our story begins at Hogwarts, Hogwarts!**

**DUMBLEDORE: I'm sorry, what's its name?**

"Is he serious?" Hermione asked.

**ALL: Hogwarts! Hogwarts!**

**DUMBLEDORE: I didn't hear you kids!**

"Okay, he's got to be joking. There's no way he didn't hear them."

**ALL: Hogwarts! Hogwarts!**

**HARRY: Man I'm glad I'm back.**

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><p><strong>Is it alright? Does it need more comments, or less? Hope you enjoyed :) Please review.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Do I look like JKRowling or the Starkids? Nope, didn't think so.**

**Sorry it took so long… I kinda forgot about it.**

**Thanks for all the faves, alerts and especially the reviews. **

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><p><strong>DUMBLEDORE: Yes, yes, yes. Welcome to another magical year at Hogwarts, and a very special welcome to my favourite student; Mr Harry Potter.<strong>

"I _knew_ he thought of you as his favourite," Draco sneered.

"Shut up, Dumbledore never picks favourites," Harry snapped back.

**GRYFFINDORS: Woo! Woo!**

**DUMBLEDORE: He killed Voldemort when he was just a baby. Even got that little lightning scar to prove it. And another very special welcome to our newest addition to Gryffindor; Mr Ginny-**

"WHAT! I am _not_ a man," Ginny yelled out as Ron started to laugh and Draco smirked.

**DUMBLEDORE: excuse me, Mrs Ginny Weasley.**

"That's better."

**GINNY: Yeah… I'm a girl. And um… also, aren't we supposed to be sorted by the uh… Sorting Hat?**

**DUMBLEDORE: Well umm… A funny thing happened to the Sorting Hat. He actually got hitched with another piece of enchanted magical clothing.**

"What!" was the word that came out of each mouth.

**DUMBLEDORE: So he and the Scarf of Sexual Preference **

"Hermione, is that a real piece of 'enchanted magical clothing"? If so, we should really go find it," Ron said.

"Of course it's not weasel, are you actually as stupid as you look?" Malfoy said.

"Oi, watch it Malfoy. No one insults my best friend," Harry growled.

**DUMBLEDORE: aren't going to be back until next year. Basically I've just been putting anybody who looks like a good guy in Gryffindor, anybody who looks like a bad guy into Slytherin **

"Okay, that is just unfair. Not all Slytherins were bad, and I remember a particularly creepy rat who was a Gryffindor and turned spy," Malfoy put in.

Harry and Ron started growling at the mention of _him _.

**DUMBLEDORE: and the other two can just go wherever the hell they want. I don't really care.**

**CEDRIC: Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders!**

"What the _hell_ does that have to do with anything?" Draco asked.

**DUMBLEDORE: What the **_**hell**_** is a Hufflepuff?**

"Oh come one, Dumbledore is nothing like that at all. He cared about all his students equally," Hermione said.

**DUMBLEDORE: Anyway, it's time now for me to introduce my very good friend, our own potions professor, Mr Severus Snape.**

"Yeah great friend, he only _killed_ you," Ron said.

"Ron, you know he had too. Snape turned out to be a good guy," Harry said.

"Yeah but he was a still a bastard."

**RON: Aww man… Not Snape, I hoped they fired that guy.**

**GINNY: Why, what's wrong with Professor Snape, Ron?**

**RON: Uh… nothing he's just, uh… evil!**

"Yes, okay, okay. He wasn't evil but still…"

**HARRY: C'mon Ron, he's really not that bad. I really don't know what you're talking about.**

**SNAPE: Harry Potter, detention! **

"What?"

**HARRY: What?**

"I see you haven't changed much through the alternative universes," Ginny said.

**SNAPE: For talking out of turn. **

"Hah! I always liked Professor Snape," Draco laughed.

**SNAPE: Now before we begin, I'm going to give you all your very, very first pop quiz! **

**(HERMIONE: Yes!)**

"Trust you to like a pop quiz Hermione."

"Oh shut up Ronald."

**SNAPE: Can anyone tell me what a portkey is? Uh, yes, Ms Granger.**

**HERMIONE: A portkey is an enchanted object that when touched will** **transport the one or ones who touched it to anywhere in the globe decided upon by the enchanter.**

"Wow. Talk much Granger?"

**SNAPE: Uhh, very goood. Now can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is?**

**HERMIONE: Oh! Oh!**

**SNAPE: Oh yes, Ms Granger.**

**HERMIONE: Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned earlier in the story to return later in a most dramatic way.**

**SNAPE: Uh, perfect! **

**RON: Uhh… what's a- what's a portkey again? I missed that one.**

"I think we all missed it," Draco said.

**HERMIONE: Oh, oh! A portkey**

**RON: Not you.**

"Ron!"

"What, you know it's not really me."

"Yes, but that is exactly what you _would_ say."

"No it's not."

**HERMIONE: A portkey is an object that when you touch it, it will transport you anywhere.**

**SNAPE: And remember a portkey may sort of seem like a harmless object, like… a football, or… a dolphin.**

"Awesome! Let's do it!" Ron yelled out as everyone burst laughed.

**LAVENDER: Professor? Can, like, a person be a portkey?**

"Wow I knew she was dumb, but this dumb?" Draco sneered.

**SNAPE: No, that's absurd! If that person where to ever touch themselves. **

"What? Why is he looking at me?" Ron complained.

**SNAPE: ****they would constantly be transported into different places. A person can, however, be a horcrux.**

"What? I though he didn't know about them," Harry asked.

**HARRY: What's uh, what's a horcrux?**

**SNAPE: I'm not even going to tell you Harry, you'll find out soon enough.**

**HERMIONE: Professor, what is the point of this quiz?**

"I thought you loved quizzes, why would you ask?" Ron asked.

"Because it's the first we've ever had, there has to be a reason," Hermione said.

**SNAPE: Oh, no, no, no point in particular…**

"Seems like you were wrong with that one, Hermione," Ron said.

**SNAPE: Just important information that everyone should know…Especially you!**

"Did… he just point at me?" Harry asked.

"He doesn't know we're here though," Ron said worriedly.

"It was probably just co-incidence," Hermione assured.

**SNAPE: Now, moving right along…There are four houses in all, Gryffindor**

**GRYFFINDORS: Woo!**

**SNAPE: Ravenclaw**

**RAVENCLAWS: Ow!**

**SNAPE: Hufflepuff**

**HUFFLEPUFFS: Find!**

**SNAPE: What? And Slytherin…**

**SLYTHERINS: Yes…**

**SNAPE: Now traditionally- traditionally points are given for good behavior and deducted for rule breaking…example; ten points from Gryffindor!**

"What! Unfair!" Ron yelled out.

**HARRY: What..?**

**SNAPE: For Ms Granger's excessive pep.**

"That is so unfair!" Ron and Harry yelled out.

**HARRY & RON: Thanks Hermione…**

"Which apparently our alternative selves do not agree with," Harry said.

**SNAPE: Traditionally, the house with the most points at the end of the year would win the House Cup, however this year, we're doing things a bit differently…Here to introduce it is our new professor of the Dark Arts…Professor Quirrell!**

"What? Not him! Bloody dark arts loving, Voldemort helping fool," Harry ranted.

**HARRY: Ow! Ow! Ow!**

**HERMIONE: What's wrong?**

**QUIRRELL: The House Cup…a time honoured tradition…For centuries-**

**DRACO: Go home terrorist!**

"Oh good one!" Draco said.

"You do realise you just said that to _yourself_?" Hermione said.

"Yes. It's a good insult though. I might start using it."

**QUIRRELL: For centuries, the four houses of Hogwarts have competed for the honour and glory of holding the title of house champion. But where does this competition come from, and what are the…roots of the tradition?**

"The House Cup began with the first people who went to Hogwarts," surprisingly Draco said.

"How do you know?" Ron demanded?

"Ever heard of a little book called Hogwarts, A History, weasel?"

"Yes… I didn't know you'd read it though."

"Well it's obvious you _haven't."_

**HERMIONE: The House Cup tournament began with the first generation of Hogwarts students.**

"Looks like you're like Hermione," Ginny said.

"Urgh," Draco groaned.

**QUIRRELL: That was a rhetorical question…**

**DUMBLEDORE: Granger, quit interrupting, twenty points from Gryffindor.**

"What? I wasn't interrupting, I was answering a question."

**RON: Thanks Hermione…**

**QUIRRELL: As I was saying…When the tournament first originated, it was one of a completely different sort…One champion from each of the four houses would complete a series of dangerous tasks…challengers would not only win the cup but eternal glory.**

"That sounds like the Triwizard tournament…" Hermione said.

**HERMIONE: Kind of like a House Cup, or no- like a Triwizard Tournament.**

"You don't change much Hermione," Ron said.

**QUIRRELL: "Yes, sort of like the Triwizard Tournament, except no, not like that at all…There are four houses, how can it be the Triwizard Tournament with four teams?"**

"Yeah Hermione," Ron and Harry laughed.

**HERMIONE: Well, Professor, if I remember correctly, the House Cup was disbanded after one semester when one of its students was killed during the first task.**

**QUIRRELL: Yes, the competition is very dangerous, but the rewards far outweigh the risks!**

"Oh my Merlin. Did he not hear me? Someone died!"

**HERMIONE: I don't think you heard me, I just said somebody died!**

"See my alternative me thinks so do."

**DUMBLEDORE: Hermione Granger, shut your ungodly lopsided mouth and quit interrupting! Twenty more points!**

Draco started snickering while Harry, Ron and Ginny glared at him.

**HARRY & RON: Thanks Hermione!**

**DUMBLEDORE: God, for the cleverest witch of your age, you sure can be a dumb-ass sometimes…Ten points to Dumbledore!**

"What?" Ginny exclaimed, this didn't sound anything like the Dumbledore they knew.

**QUIRRELL: Yes, yes, well it will be very dangerous, but the winner will be remembered as a hero for ages to come. **

"Oh and I suppose that excuses the face that _someone died_," Hermione said scathingly.

**QUIRREL: And, as the Professor of the Dark Arts, I believe that this practical application is exactly what the curriculum needs to-**

**UNKNOWN: AH-CHOO!**

"What? Who just sneezed?" Harry asked.

**DUMBLEDORE: Did your turban just sneeze?**

"That's impossible," Ginny said.

**QUIRRELL: W-what? No.**

"Yeah, we believe you," Draco said sarcastically.

**DUMBLEDORE: I could have sworn I heard a sneeze coming from the back of your direction, but your mouth wasn't moving.**

**QUIRRELL: No, that was simply a fart, excuse me.**

Everyone laughed except for Hermione who tried to look disapprovingly, despite the obvious smile on her face.

**UNKNOWN: AH-CHOO!**

**HARRY: Ow! Ow! Ow!**

"Oh Harry! What's wrong?"

"I don't know Gin."

**UNKNOWN: AH-CHOO!**

**QUIRRELL: I must be going…**

**HARRY: Ow…**

**UNKNOWN: AH-CHOO! **

**QUIRRELL: I simply farted once more, excuse me!**

This time they all laughed.

**DUMBLEDORE: In accordance with the newly resurrected House Cup, the champions from each house will be selected to compete! Now Snape, will you do the honours please?**

"What's the bet I'm one of them," Harry said.

**SNAPE: Yes, Headmaster... First, from the Ravenclaw house… a Miss Cho Chang!**

"That is _not_ his real voice. Surely it's a fake," Draco said.

"I dunno Malfoy, that does sound like Snape a lot," Ron laughed.

**CHO: Oh my God, I won! Can you believe that y'all?**

"She didn't win, Merlin, she was just chosen to _compete_," Ginny said, she still had a sore spot for Cho because of Harry's crush on her.

**SNAPE: Next, from Hufflepuff… a Mister Cedric Diggory…**

**CEDRIC: Well, I don't **_**find**_** this surprising at all…**

"I wish we could _find_ something to make him shut up," Draco almost yelled.

**CHO: Now, I can spend more time with my beloved boyfriend…**

**CEDRIC: I'm glad as well, my darling!**

"Urgh, they make me sick," Draco once again commented.

**SNAPE: And next, from the Slytherin house…a Draco Malfoy!**

"Yes! Take that Potter!"

"Why don't you listen to Ginny, it's for a _chance_ to win," Harry retorted.

**DRACO: Hah! Ho! I've finally beat you, didn't I Potter? What do you think about that, huh? I'm the champion this time!**

"You don't change much," Hermione said, as Draco glared at her.

**DUMBLEDORE: Draco, would you sit down, you little shit? Champion's just a title!**

"See, Dumbledore agrees with me," Ginny said.

**SNAPE: And finally, from the Gryffindor house…Oh my…well isn't this curious? The one person in all of Hogwarts whom I have a well-known grudge against is suddenly in a tournament where he may very well **_**lose**_** his life…**

"I _knew_ it would be," Harry grumbled.

**NEVILLE: If it's me, I-I'll just apologize to my fellow Gryffindors right now for losing.**

"Is he joking? Longbottom, champion?" Draco sneered.

**SNAPE: Sit down, you inarticulate bumble! It's Harry Potter!**

**RON: Woo!**

**HARRY: What..? Uh-huh…Oh yeah!**

**DUMBLEDORE: Well there you have it folks, your four Hogwarts Champions. I want all of you to start preparing immediately because the first task is in two months and it could be anything. So, let's get to it! **

**RON: Harry, you got this tournament in the bag.**

**HARRY: I don't know man, Cedric Diggory…he's pretty awesome- **_**not**_**! He **_**sucks**_**! I'm totally gonna win, it's in the bag!**

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed.

**HERMIONE: I-I don't know Harry…**

**RON: Oh my God, Hermione, shut up! Why do you have to rain on everybody's parade?**

**HERMIONE: Because Ron, this is dangerous!**

"It is!"

"Hermione… you just agreed with yourself," Ron said looking worriedly at her.

**HARRY: Dangerous? Oh come on Hermione, how dangerous could it be, especially for me?**

"Are you being serious?" Hermione asked in surprise.

**HERMIONE: Well, you're not invincible Harry, somebody died in this tournament.**

"Exactly."

**HARRY: Uh, I'm the boy-who-lived, not died, God! What's the worst that could happen?**

"Pretty stuck up, Potter," Draco said.

"Oh shut up, Malfoy," Ron put in.

**HERMIONE: And I don't know about that Quirrell character, first he resurrects some horrible ancient tournament, then he bumps into you and your scar starts to hurt, and you have to admit, there's something really **_**funky**_** about the back of his head!**

"Yeah, Harry… there was something _funky_ about his head," Ron laughed.

**HARRY: Come on, think about it, Quirrell is a professor and who hires professors-?**

**HARRY & RON: Dumbledore!**

**HARRY: He's the smartest, most awesomest, most practical wizard- beautiful wizard in the whole world! Why-why, would he possibly hire someone who's trying to hurt me?**

"He's not all knowing…" Harry put in, he knew a lot more than he used to.

**HERMIONE: Well, what about Snape?**

**HARRY: Yeah, what about him?**

**HERMIONE: He's hated you for years! And he's hated your parents too Harry, everybody knows that. And he just so happens to pick your name out of the house cup out of hundreds, if not five possible Gryffindors?**

"There's gotta be more than five Gryffindors… Where's Seamus and Dean?" Ron asked.

**HARRY: Yeah, what a coincidence, we lucked out!**

"Are you serious, Potter?" Draco asked, "honestly, how stupid could you be?"

**HERMIONE: No Harry, I don't think it is a coincidence. When you defeated Voldemort you made a **_**lot**_** of enemies, ones you may not even know about.**

"Exactly," Draco said, then looked disgusted at himself for agreeing with _Granger_.

**HARRY: Okay, so let me get this straight, you're saying this tournament is one big ploy to try and kill me.**

"_Now_ you understand," Hermione said in relief.

**HERMIONE: I don't know, maybe! Anyway, I just think it's dangerous and I don't think you should do it.**

**HARRY: Alright Hermione, if it means that much to you, I'll drop out.**

"Wow, really?" Hermione asked.

**HERMIONE: Oh, thank you Harry!**

**RON: Wait- wait, what? The House Cup? What about all the eternal glory you would win?**

"Ron! You're supposed to back me up!" Hermione said.

"I'm sorry! It's not me!"

**HARRY: Hey, eternal glory- I've already got that.**

"Wow, up yourself much?" Draco said.

**HARRY: Besides, Neville will be a great champion!**

"Seriously?" Ron asked.

"Shut up Ron. Neville is great," Ginny said in defence.

**RON: No, no, no! I do not want Schlongbottom to be my champion!**

**HERMIONE: Harry look, all you have to do- Oh look there's Dumbledore! All you have to do is just talk to him now and tell him that you're dropping out?**

**HARRY: Um, listen Hermione, Dumbledore and I are really cool, we're super tight **

"Seriously, Harry?" Hermione asked in disbelief.

**HARRY: and I don't want to make him think I'm being lazy, or disaffecting him, so can you just- why don't you tell him, just tell him I want to work on school or somethin' alright? Hey, you got this one- you're the best! **

"Don't… _ever_ do that to me," Hermione commanded as the Harry on staged tapped the on stage Hermione.

**HARRY: Go on, you got it.**

**HERMIONE: Okay…**

**HARRY: Don't worry about it.**

"Thanks Harry."

**HERMIONE: Dumbledore?**

**DUMBLEDORE: Yes, Granger?**

**HERMIONE: Uh, I need to talk to you for a moment, it's about the House Cup tournament. Um, well first of all, I think it's an **_**awful**_** idea, but um, second of all, I don't think that Harry Potter should compete."**

"Do you really think_ that_ would convince him?" Draco asked.

**DUMBLEDORE: Granger…why do you always have to be such a big ol' stick in the mud? Huh, pray tell me why Harry Potter shouldn't compete?**

**HERMIONE: Uh, because he- wants to study!**

"Oh because _that's_ convincible," Ron laughed.

**DUMBLEDORE: Granger, nobody studies at Hogwarts, except for you!**

"That is _not_ true. I worked hard for my O.W.L.s" Draco said.

**HERMIONE: Gah! Okay, well he wants to focus on the O.W.L.s!**

**DUMBLEDORE: Why couldn't Harry have told me this himself? He thinks **_**I'm**_** cool, **_**we're**_** tight!**

"Hah! Even Dumbledore agrees," Ron laughed.

**HERMIONE: No! Professor, I'm a really bad liar, okay? I think it's a ruse, a set-up and I even think Snape might be trying to kill Harry Potter.**

"He should listen to that," Hermione said in relief. "At least the part about someone trying to kill Harry…"

**DUMBLEDORE: Severus Snape is one of the kindest, bravest, gentlest, sexiest men I have ever met! Severus Snape is trying to kill Harry Potter about as much as he's trying to kill me, huh?**

"Well, _that's_ ironic," Draco laughed.

**SNAPE: Oh, why Professor Dumbledore…**

"Speak of the devil," Ginny said.

**DUMBLEDORE: Oh!**

**SNAPE: I just happened to be in the kitchen and I made you this…**_**delicious sandwich**_**!**

Ron rubbed his stomach groaning. "I'm _soooo_ hungry!"

**DUMBLEDORE: Why thank you, Severus! You see Granger, how thoughtful!**

"Uhh… that _sandwich_ doesn't look that healthy…" Ginny said.

**HERMIONE: Uh…**

**SNAPE: Here you are Professor, bomb-appetite! I mean- bon-appetite!**

**HERMIONE: Um…is that sandwich ticking?**

"It is," Gunny agreed.

**DUMBLEDORE: It looks like it's licking; finger-licking good!**

"I could go for a finger-licking good sandwich right about now," Ron grumbled.

**HERMIONE: Uh…Professor, I don't think you should eat that sandwich!**

**DUMBLEDORE: Why Granger? You gotta listen to Snape more often, you might even get a sandwich out of it!**

"_Yeah_ Hermione, you might get a _sandwich_ out of it," Ron laughed.

**DUMBLEDORE: Granger, what are you doing? Dog-gone it you exploded my sandwich!**

"Doesn't he realise it was a bomb?" Hermione asked in disbelief.

**HERMIONE: I'm sorry, sir!**

**DUMBLEDORE: Hey, even if I did believe that Harry Potter was in danger, he has to compete! You see that cup?**

**HERMIONE: Yes!**

**DUMBLEDORE: It's enchanted! Whosever's name comes out of the cup has to compete, or the results would be bad…**

"Oh don't tell me it's like the Tri-Wizard cup!" Hermione exclaimed.

**HERMIONE: What do you mean, bad?**

**DUMBLEDORE: Try to imagine your entire life stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.**

**HERMIONE: A total plutonic reversal!**

"Did Dumbledore and I just quote Ghostbusters?" Hermione asked.

"What's ah… what's Ghostbusters?" Ron asked.

"Oh, it's a movie…"

**DUMBLEDORE: Yeah…so you see, Harry Potter has to compete. And Hermione, if it makes you feel any better, the last guy who died in the tournament was a Hufflepuff, **

"Wow, talk about foreshadowing," Draco said.

**DUMBLEDORE: so um…so I'll keep my eyes open and nothing is gonna get past old Dumbledore!**

**HERMIONE: Alright…**

**DUMBLEDORE: "Now I gotta go make myself another sandwich, although I don't know how it's going to be as good as the last one- the last one ticked!"**

**HERMIONE: That's because it was a **_**bomb**_**!**

"Honestly, there is something wrong with this version of Dumbledore," Hermione said.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: SOOOOO sorry for the wait. Also, no idea when the next chapter will be out. It's the first chaptered fic I've done so I'm not used to remembering to update.**


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